Romancing the Stone

A friend of mine just recently got engaged to be married. She had come over to my house at my bidding. When asked whether her beau had made his intentions known, she was puzzled as to how I knew (she had been trying hard not to show the sparkling jewel on her finger! – she had wanted to see if anyone would “notice”) Yet, I still knew – how? “How could I not!” I said, “It is written all over your face.” Her smile being as broad as could possibly be and her face glowing as a woman in love. I congratulated her and asked to see her ring. It was a beautiful ruby set in gold, nothing really fancy but a lovely ring all the same. It shone with a brilliance that only engagement rings can illuminate. It’s almost like magic.

New love is like magic. You have eyes only for each other. He’s the perfect man for you, he possesses absolutely no flaws, and if you do see some, they are to you endearing.

There’s flowers and candle-lit dinners; walks in the moonlight; dances to ‘your’ song and the list is endless.

Then the inevitable question came from my friend and also from my 3 teenage daughters (that is after all the squealing and jumping up and down had subsided from the onset of the news), with me being a veteran at marriage having now passed 20 years - ‘Is it still as romantic now as it was when you got engaged?’

‘Yes…I said, after pondering a bit…but it is different…it’s not a jumping up and down squealing kind of feeling or pacing the floor not knowing what to do with yourself until he gets home from work kind of feeling….it matures (and it is not just the age!)….it’s a comfortable with each other feeling, a secure feeling….a knowing with not needing to utter a word kind of feeling.

20 years down the track – when you get to that ‘comfortable, secure’ place. It is easy to take each other for granted.

Hubby calls up to say he is on the way home and asks me to ‘make yourself beautiful for me’ Awww… (How I wish!).

Right at that moment, you are slaving away at the hot stove rushing to get dinner on the table before he arrives home. Or, you are taking out the garbage. Or, you are on your hands and knees sweating it out wiping up chocolate milk that had seeped its way across the kitchen counter, down the cutlery drawers, and onto the floor. (This can happen in a matter of seconds with a 3 year old and 6 year old!)

I looked out my window this morning to see our 3 year old son pouring the entire bottle of dog shampoo over our pet bulldog! Giving him 3 baths in one day, because somehow he had discovered a mud-pit in our grounds, or our 6 year old wanting to make Mum a cup of coffee, resulting in sticky wet coffee (no hot water added mind you) syrupy mess all over the kitchen floor!

Your 12 year old is on an emotional hormonal rollercoaster and the whole day has been a ‘crisis’. Your 19 year old, wants to talk to you for ‘a minute’ – 2 hours later, your conversation is just now coming to an end. Your 16 year old daughter, has hardly said boo to you all day, and it is bothering you more than it is her. Your 17 year old son decides he wants to solve the whole world’s problems in one day and is determined to tell you how it must be done. Your 10 year old and 6 year old are at loggerheads with each other and you’re the referee. Your 3 year old has started to get cranky because he has missed his afternoon nap. You had not long finished sending off what seems like a hundred individual emails, typed up the petty cash, taught your daily session at the Bible school and, amidst all this, supervised your children’s schooling.

You hear the sound of tires crunching across the gravel of the driveway as hubby’s car pulls up in front of the house. You gasp ‘Oh no’ as you glance hurriedly in the mirror, seeing yourself somewhat disheveled.

Having no choice but to greet your husband in your current state, you open the door – at least with as cheery a disposition as you can muster, suddenly remembering you had forgotten to put your false front teeth in, now brandishing a lovely toothless smile! (My 3 year old had finally knocked them out several months ago after one-too-many head-butts….yes, ouch…but that’s another story).

This is the part where Hubby graciously ‘Romances the Stone’ by putting on imaginary rose-coloured glasses, remembering you as you were on your wedding day, with your hair meticulously done up, and make-up, hands beautifully manicured and a delicate perfume wafting in the air….

True love, sometimes has to be blind, holding fast through ‘the better and the worse’.

In fact, it grows stronger as the years go by. LOVE – it IS magic.

Copyright 2006. Rebecca Laklem.